Physician, heal thyself
Variations on this biblical quote have echoed in many cultures and languages, and the message that doctors should look after their own health as well as that of their patients is equally pertinent for counsellors. It’s our privilege to help clients find a path to wellness but if we neglect our own emotional state, we may find ourselves in no position to help anyone.
I’m Pinning All My Hopes On You
Clients may not often use that precise wording, but when their demeanour towards us makes it clear that they are depending on us in this way it can be a heavy load to carry. The role of counsellor tends to attract empathisers, and when we open ourselves up to a client’s pain, the impact on our own emotional and physical well being can be insidious. What’s your approach to self-care? Are you open to the idea in the first place? If you are, do you have tried and tested coping strategies in place? We’d like to explore some options.
Space To Breathe
When you finish one client session, how often do you open the door immediately to another? It may be tempting to maximise the time available to us – and how often do we say and hear that there aren’t enough hours in the day? – but leaving a suitable gap between sessions is a valuable precaution. Take 15 or 30 minutes to resolve and let go of any issues that may have arisen in your previous session. Offering your next client a clean slate will benefit them and you. By contrast, if we allow the emotional baggage to pile up over the course of a day, we might struggle to emerge from underneath it.
Time To Recharge
At the end of the working day, it can be helpful to have a routine that draws a line in the sand and releases you to enjoy “me” time. Maybe it’s the journey home? Maybe it’s something you do along the way? For those of us working remotely, it’s not always straightforward to separate work space and personal space. If you can, confine your sessions to a dedicated office and, at the end of the working day, leave it and close the door behind you. And beware of your world shrinking around you. It’s too easy to slip into a routine of work-eat-sleep-repeat that sees our lives reduced to joyless essentials. When people speak of being “world weary” it’s often because they’ve allowed their world to become a small place. This can creep up on us over time, and the knowledge that we’re providing an important service with clear social utility can excuse it and block us from correcting it.
Body Of Evidence
Our physical condition often reflects and feeds back into our emotional wellness. Maintaining a balanced diet may not be the most original piece of advice, but it’s among the soundest. Nutritious meals can fuel us for work that demands alertness and resilience. Lack of sleep can undo good work and undermine preparation. Does your routine allow for healthy eating at the right times? How many hours a night do you sleep, and is it restful? I’ve heard experienced professionals say with a swagger that they are “running on empty” but still getting the job done. Even if it’s true, that doesn’t make it good practice. Running on a full tank inevitably delivers a better job performance, as well as a healthier performer.
Feeding The Right Wolf
Many of you will be familiar with the Native American tale of a tribal elder explaining the principle of internal conflict to a child by depicting the positive and negative voices in each of our minds as two wolves fighting for supremacy. When the young person asks which wolf wins, the elder answers "whichever one we feed". Counsellors who encourage positive self-talk in their clients should practice what they preach. You’re a talented, dedicated professional whose work improves people’s lives. You’re allowed to feel good about that. You’re allowed to feel good about who and what you are. Give yourself credit. When your work with a vulnerable client moves them one step closer to the life they want to live, celebrate that step. It’s important for them and for you. You’re doing a job that matters and you’re doing it honourably, professionally and well. Feed the right wolf.
Be Kind To Your Mind
Reading for pleasure can be wonderfully relaxing, and nurturing a talent for painting, photography or creative writing can help to keep stress at arm’s length. Improving our cognitive skills can have a hugely positive impact on our quality of life. The hippocampus, the part of the brain that stores and consolidates information into long-term memories and spatial navigation, can be trained and refreshed at any age. A 2012 study at Lund University in Southern Sweden revealed that learning languages provides ideal training for the brain, actually causing parts of the hippocampus and cerebral cortex to grow. Students introduced to new languages found that their ability to absorb and retain information was enhanced in ways that general education couldn’t achieve. The act of juggling different sets of vocabulary and grammatical rules automatically trains us to be more efficient multitaskers. If learning a new language feels like too much of a stretch, try testing your numeracy or playing word games. That may not sound like everyone's idea of chill-out time, but the gamification of learning has made it far easier for us to challenge ourselves in ways that are relaxing and enjoyable. Learning new skills and refreshing existing skills makes us more receptive to new information and better able to retain it. It helps us think more clearly for longer, and it helps us compartmentalise and cope with issues far more effectively.
Physician, heal thyself.
Counsellor, care for thyself.
Your work makes a positive difference. You make a positive difference.
Look after yourself. You’re worth it.